Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Silence


--Warning: Rant written yesterday--
So some days I just don't care - I want to drive. I want to not worry about meeting someone else's schedule. I don't want to worry about whether or not I'll have room to have a seat or if I'll have to stand. Hell, some days I'm just over it all. And things haven't even gotten challenging yet. I mean, winter's not here yet and I have no clue how this whole thing will work.

I figure I'll be riding the 5:05 bus on the way home. I can't leave work at 3 every day just to get on the bus at 4. But who knows? Best leave that bridge to cross when I actually get there.

I'm just sour grapes today. Not feeling it. Not wanting to be at work. Not looking forward to the ride to the bus stop today. Went for a run with my oldest last night and I can feel just how long it's been since I've done that. Classes start up this week, so I have that hanging over my head as well - how will I have time to dedicate to teaching as well as work? It's going to be a busy few months for sure. And I still don't have flooring figured out in my house? When will I get that done now? Probably not until next summer, in all likelihood. --/Rant--

So, some days are better than others, I guess. Today was a good commute in. The weather was decent and the bus was right where I expected it to be. I was just in a piss mood yesterday, as happens at times. We all have those days where something internal flares up because of external factors. It wasn't the commute and the bus that was bothering me. It was knowing that I have a ton of work to do, and will for the next 16 weeks, and that I have even less time now than I used to and feeling like maybe moving so far away from work was a mistake on some level.

As with any move, there are challenges to overcome. Adjustments to be made. Etc. Etc. Etc. We're are experiencing the growing pains right now, I think.

I'm out of words right now.


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